Lemon vs. Awesome

"Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is important that you do it." –Mahatma Gandhi

Over the weekend, I had the undeniable pleasure of trying out my first natural cleaning regimen: toilet bowl cleaner.

Toilet Bowl Cleaner #1:

Combine 2 tablespoons of baking soda with one tablespoon of olive oil and a teaspoon of your favorite scent (I used lemon juice). Throw this concoction into your toilet and scrub away!

The smell of lemon juice was MUCH better than the smell of bleach and ammonia. I recommend trying this one. My toilet was sparkling afterward.

Just for kicks, I tried another recipe on the second toilet in my house to see which I liked better.

Toilet Bowl Cleaner #2:

Pour 1 cup of vinegar (white, distilled) into the toilet. Then throw in a handful of baking soda. Let sit for about 10 minutes and then scrub-a-dub-dub.

Guys. This. Was. Awesome. When I threw in the baking soda, it foamed and fizzed. It was like doing a science project in my toilet. I thought it was going to overflow for a half-second and then it simmered down. So definitely use that ratio or face the consequences.

There were pros and cons to both recipes, but I think I liked the first one better... probably because of the lemon zesty smell. Naturally, lemon smells much better than vinegar. But maybe I will alternate between the two, because I think the second recipe probably cleaned the toilet better (and it was just really, really cool).

I know there are some cynics out there. These are the people that want their toilet to be the cleanest and most germ-free place ever, so they use the strongest, deadliest cleaning products that man can legally sell. But I, honestly, think this cleaned just as well. And it was inexpensive. And it was cool. So there.

The Goods

“Buddy, I think you been spending too much time inhaling them cleaning products.” –The Terminal

Armed with a list and a jubilant spirit, I walked through the aisles of Target on a mission. I knew to head toward the cleaning supply area. But once I got there, it took me a while to spot what I was searching for. Word to the wise, the ingredients I was looking for will either be on the bottom shelf or the top shelf. Next time, I will be bringing a tall friend or step ladder. There are only so many times that I can strategically scale the side of a shelf without it collapsing to the ground. The odds are not in my favor. Have you seen how unstable those things are? I mean, really... do they think all eco-friendly people are tall? But I digress.

My shopping list:

Borax

Baking soda

Washing soda

Vinegar (white, distilled)

A spray bottle

Sponges (because my old ones are contaminated by toxic chemicals J)

Lemon Juice

Liquid soap/detergent (I sprung for the natural variety)

Olive oil

Most of these things are not foreign to me... but are products that I would not typically use for cleaning purposes. But it is kind of comforting to know that I will be cleaning mostly with products that I use to cook. Thus, surely if it’s safe to ingest them, it’s safe to breathe while in their company.

I’m proud to say that I made it home safely with all of the above products in tow... and I only had to shop at one store. So far, not so complicated. And even better, I got the large sizes of everything and spent under $30! I think I just got a little bit more excited about this, if that’s even possible!

Cleeeean

“You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.” --Cecil Baxter

It’s important that you know that I’m one of those weird people who enjoys cleaning. I get a strange satisfaction out of making something sparkle and shine.

Doing dishes relaxes me. Organizing my closet is what I do for fun on the weekends. Dust is my enemy. If I take notes at work/school and they are messy, I rewrite them. And I never lose things, because everything has a place. Hi, my name is Stephanie and I’m a neat freak. I admit it.

But if I’m going to have a problem, I think this is a good one to have.

So my next endeavor is crazy exciting to me. This month, I will be making my own cleaning supplies! Get hyped.

It all started when I was cleaning my bathroom and had to leave the room for a few minutes because the fumes were making me light-headed. I understand that the chemicals need to be strong in order to kill germs, etc. …but does that mean it’s killing my brain cells in the process? Is it safe for me to be frequently in a confined space (i.e. my bathroom) with such harsh products? I was skeptical, so I put on my nerd gear and did a little research.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) released a study that found “indoor air to be twice as polluted as outdoor air.” Say what?! I thought my indoor air was supposed to be pure and clean and uncontaminated. Turns out, I was dead wrong. The harsh chemicals that we use indoors (not only in cleaning products, but also in perfumes, air fresheners, paint, etc.), there is nowhere for all of it to go. So we end up with these toxic cocktails and they are trapped inside. Yikes.

To me, it’s bonkers to think that all of the time and effort I put into making things safe and clean is actually making things polluted. So this month will be about trying to find a way to keep my environment clean without killing my brain cells. I sincerely hope this is not too much to ask.

Plaza Mayor

It seemed that every place we visited in Spain had a large square called Plaza Mayor. I’m thinking that this is their version of a Main Street. This is the one in Madrid. It looked oddly familiar to me and then I learned that it has been in several movies. So maybe that’s why.

This is the one in Salamanca, where we were lucky enough to stumble upon several bachelorette parties and a “flash mob.” I use the term “flash mob” loosely, because they announced that they were going to perform a “flash mob” before any dancing had occurred. So it was more just like dancing in a public place, but sure. We’ll let them think what they like.

Plaza Mayor in Salamanca is often called the “living room of the city,” which I thought was a good way to put it. It’s a great place to hang out and people watch in the heart of the city.

If I could be an edifice, I would be a cathedral.

Salamanca is a fantastic, small university town about 2 hours west of Madrid. We spent about two days exploring Salamanca, which is often called the “golden city” of Spain. Oddly enough, the city did have a certain glow about it. However, the main thing that drew us to this town was the majestic cathedral for which it is famous.

 I straight-up love cathedrals. They are awe-inspiring, architectural wonders. We don’t have anything like them in the United States. In my opinion, skyscrapers look like mere child’s play in comparison.

Cathedrals always give me a sense of calm and peace unlike anything else. So naturally, this is where we spent the majority of our time in Salamanca.

I also taught Molly the term “flying buttress,” which can be seen below. A buttress is essentially a perpendicular wall that supports the main wall. But a flying buttress is one that is only connected at the top. Someone please tell me how people in the 17^th century figured out how to construct that. Freakin’ prodigies.

Magnificent, no?

Chocolate (Spanish style)

We went on a day trip to the charming town of Vila Joiosa, home of the Valor Chocolate Museum/Factory. Valor is the Hershey’s of Spain. So it’s kind of a big deal.

Fun Fact: Spaniards love dark chocolate. I have never seen so many different varieties of dark chocolate. And it was shut-the-front-door awesome. I’m starting to think that this is one of the many reasons why Europeans are typically thinner than Americans. You can eat one small piece of dark chocolate and be content, while it takes a lot more milk chocolate to satisfy your chocolate craving. But I totally just made that up from my own assumptions.

My friend and I were definitely the only people on the tour, so we had our fair share of free samples. Yum!

During my Spanish adventure, I also developed a love for churos. For those of you that don’t know, churos are a delightful food, akin to funnel cake dipped in delicious hot fudge sauce. In Spain, they eat this for breakfast and/or a snack. We tried it both times of day. I preferred it as a snack but adored the freshly squeezed orange juice that accompanied it at breakfast. So really, it was a bi-winning situation.

Benidorm!

After visiting the wonderful city of Madrid, we made our way to Benidorm, which is on the coast of Spain. Due to the unique skyline formed by its many tall hotels and apartment buildings it is sometimes called the “Manhattan of Spain.”

 I’m not sure I completely agree with that comparison. I would probably call it the “Myrtle Beach of Spain.” It was definitely a hopping place, with numerous restaurants, bars and clubs. Some parts were not the most classy, but other parts were quite lovely. Like this:

There was a large British population (mostly of retirement age). But it also appeared to be a popular destination for bachelor/bachelorette parties. So there was an interesting age dynamic. All around, I really enjoyed Benidorm... even its trashy tendencies.

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be SUN

I bet you didn’t know that Madrid, Spain enjoys more cloudless days than almost any other city in Europe. During my time there, I definitely got to experience that wonderment. It was beautiful for 95% of my 12 days in Spain. I give you Exhibit A:

It does get hot midday (hence the wonderful invention of the siesta—I definitely took part in that as well. There’s nothing like having your largest meal at lunch with a glass of wine/sangria/beer and then taking a nap and staying out of the heat. Then you are refreshed and ready to go for the rest of the day.

Why don’t we have this in the U.S.? All those in favor of instating it, say I! I’ve been saying for months that there should be a nap room and sangria at my office. Why does no one listen…

SPAIN

Everyone should know by now that I love learning new things. Recently, I went on an adventure to Spain to visit a fabulous friend. And I learned tons. I will now take this opportunity to impart some of my Spanish wisdom through a series that I will call “FUN FACTS ABOUT SPAIN!”

I started out my trip in Madrid, the capital city of Spain. Upon first glance, it appears to be your average large city: hectic streets, busy-looking people, and constant noise. Like so:

But Madrid has a very rich history… leading me to my first FUN FACT ABOUT SPAIN!

The official symbol of Madrid is a bear on its hind legs, munching on berries from a tree. This is a metaphor for Madrid’s rapid growth and represents the possession and importance of wood, which is essential to build a strong country.

You can definitely feel the vibrancy of this city… I don’t really know where the berries fit in though. Maybe that represents the awesome Sangria that they drink. Is that a stretch? I think not.

Adios

Later today, I’m leaving to go on an adventure in Spain. My bff is currently living there, so it’s obviously necessary that I go and visit her. I will be gone for 12 days!!!!!! I’m sure I will have lots of magical tales to tell upon my return.

But this is the end of the Little things, Big Differences experi-month. It’s been real, y'all. I've really enjoyed this one.

So I guess this coming month will be about broadening my horizons through international travel. It just worked out that way. But experiencing other cultures is a fabulous thing to do and is quite crucial to my happiness. Let journey begin!!

Hey you!

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” --Frederick Keonig

What did I do today? I called someone just to say hi.

Sometimes my life gets so busy that the only time I call other people is to ask them for something or to plan to get together. The second reason is not so bad... but I can do better than that.

Today I called several people that I’m close to... just to say hi and tell them that I appreciate their friendship. All of them were really surprised and probably a little weirded out. But they all said that it made their day.

We so often forget to appreciate the people that are most important in our lives. BUT we also forget how much we are appreciated. So tell those that you love that you love them... don’t just assume it goes without saying. It will probably be awkward if you never tell your friends that. As my friend Molly says, “Move some furniture so there is room for the awkwardness.” You’ve got to start somewhere.

If a snail can do it...

“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” --Mother Teresa

What did I do today? Sent some mail.

I don’t know about you, but getting a tangible note is always really exciting. There’s something about the extra little effort that someone went through to communicate with you. It’s also especially appealing to get a personal note amongst the other mail, consisting of advertisements and credit card applications (does everyone else get like 500 of those a day? Or am I just lucky like that?).

So if I like getting mail, I thought other people might like it too.

Today I sent a co-worker a card to his home address. He recently had surgery and I wanted him to know that I had been thinking/praying about him. I think my parents’ generation is really good about sending cards of support and congratulations, but I frequently forget. I usually just tell someone the next time I see them... but I’m trying to be better about actually sending them a card. I’m trying to take a few minutes out of my day and let someone else know that I thought of them.

I’ve also discovered that I really like hand making my own cards. This has become an added bonus. I get to be creative and crafty, while at the same time making someone else smile?!?! I love it when two positive worlds merge into a giant blob of awesomeness. It’s superb!

What's your problem?

“Live simply that others might simply live.” --Elizabeth Ann Seton

What did I do today? Listened to someone.

It sounds lame, I know. But it makes a really big impact and puts my own life into perspective.

Have you ever really wanted to vent, but had no one to vent to? Have you ever just wanted someone to talk to? It's a simple thing to want, but makes the biggest difference. I always feel so much better when I talk about something that is bothering me with someone who really cares. It's always great to know that you matter to someone and that you are not the first person in the world to have that problem. Others have walked your path and stood where you stand.

So really listen to someone today. Or find someone who will listen to you. We all need each other more than we like to think. But isn't that kind of strangely awesome? Yes. Yes, it is.

Give a little (not just a surprisingly great Hanson song)

“Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve.... You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” --Martin Luther King, Jr.

What did I do today? Chilled with some cool kids.

Today I went to an after school program for underprivileged teens. I'm a part of a small group at church and we decided that it would be a great way to use our time. It was great fun. We played Taboo and basically just hung out with them. Eventually we will be tutoring them as well, but we wanted to get to know them first.

It's not a big time commitment... only about 2 hours a week. If you don't have a spare 2 hours a week, then you need to prioritize some things, because that's ridiculous. No offense. Prioritize, people. Watch one less episode of American Idol. The world will not end. Ok, thanks. Go change the world 2 hours at a time.

Free time. What's that?

“We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” --Mother Teresa

I know, I know. A true fact about life is that you either have time or money, but never both. If you have a job, then you have no time. If you don't have a job, then you have no money. Somehow I managed to have very little time and money. Gotta love that worthless college degree...

BUT in my very little spare time, occasionally I like to volunteer it to others. 

So that's what I did today.

It wasn't earth shattering. I didn't cure poverty or world hunger. I just helped my mom with an event at the YMCA. But I respect the YMCA's mission and thus, feel like it was worthwhile. Helping occasionally is a great thing! If everyone did it, it would make a huge impact. And it's a much better use of my time than watching The Social Network, which may or may not have been what I did yesterday. But that's beside the point. Just overlook that.  

Who needs comfort anyway?

What am I doing today? Stepping out of my comfort zone.

I'm planning to go to somewhere tonight that I've never been before with people I don't really know. I never do things like this. I tend to frequent the same places with people that I know well. I don't even really like showing up places without a close friend. But I'm going and I'm determined to be friendly and outgoing and to have fun. It will happen. It's been decided. This probably makes no sense... but in my head it's a really big deal.

I also have been talking to people all day that I don't really know at work. I introduced myself to 3 people and I wasn't even the awkward turtle that I normally am! This is a big accomplishment. I know you're probably wondering how I could possibly be awkward when my blog is so thoroughly lovely and entertaining. I'm much more witty and charming in writing than in person, trust me. I'm also really modest about my writing skills :)

How does this benefit others? I stopped obsessing over how I was being perceived and actually interacted with other people on a real level. Maybe if I (we) did that more often... people would feel like they really matter and aren't invisible. So today was me trying to accomplish that in a small way.

Oh hey, mister local business owner. You're cool.

What am I doing today? Eating locally.

Eating and shopping locally is a great way to help your community. I mean, really... would you rather your money go to your neighbor or to some wealthy Wal-Mart-like corporation that kills everything in it's path.

Many studies have indicated that a dollar spent locally generates twice as much income for the local economy. Also, the food and products tend to be fresher than that of chains. Another benefit is that local places tend to have less strict policies and will reward you if you're a frequent visitor. They want to make you as happy as possible, so that you will continue to support them with your fork.

Yes, your local Italian restaurant tends to be a little more pricey than Olive Garden, but it's good to think twice about where your money is going and who is on the receiving end. Spend wisely.

Why, yes, I do love shopping

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” --Anne Frank

What did I do today? Went shopping for a cause.

My sister’s birthday is coming up. I usually get her jewelry or clothes from a random store in the mall. I almost did the same thing this year. But I thought to myself, “Stephanie, how can you buy your fabulous older sister something awesome and help the world at the same time?” So I responded by shopping for a cause. I perused many websites, which profits go to something way better than the 6 figure salary of a CEO with a comb-over. Here are my favorites:

www.worldofgood.com

“World of Good’s mission is to provide a trusted platform where individuals can create positive change through commerce, as part of a global community.

We believe that a growing number of individuals want to understand how the choices they make impact people and the planet. There is an important need for trusted information, and a need for transparency into how and where products are made. Our goal is to provide you with the resources needed to make good choices and to connect with others who share the same passion.”

www.globalgoodspartners.com

“Global Goods Partners is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to empowering women, alleviating poverty and promoting social justice. We partner with community based organizations in marginalized regions of Asia, Africa, the Americas and the Middle East, creating access to the U.S. market for our partners’ handcrafted products and providing technical assistance to build sustainable livelihoods.”

www.buildanest.com

“Nest is a nonprofit organization that empowers female artists and artisans around the world. Using a unique combination of interest-free microfinance loans, mentoring from established designers, as well as a market in which to sell their crafts, Nest helps its loan recipients create successful small businesses. Nest instills pride of ownership, preserves ancient artistic traditions and successfully moves women from poverty to self-sufficiency.”

http://shop.stjude.org/GiftCatalog/index.do

100% of profits from sales at the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital go to the children and cancer research. I have actually visited St. Jude and it is quite possibly the most magical and inspirational place that I have ever been. Everything and everyone is there to help the children.

I will not reveal which place I purchased something from (for fear of spoiling the surprise for my sister). But it is awesome. Next time you want to buy something, consider buying something from an organization that will make a difference. You can change someone’s life and get something cool at the same time. I see no problems with this.

Rice and vocabulary

“Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.” --Edmund Burke

What did I do yesterday? I donated rice.

I played a vocabulary game on http://www.freerice.com/. It doesn’t sound like much of a contribution to society, I know. But every time you answer a vocabulary question correctly, the organization donates 10 grains of rice to hungry people. This website is run by the United Nations World Food Programme.

The organization has two main goals: (1) to educate people for free, using this vocabulary game and (2) to end world hunger by providing rice to people in need. What an excellent combination!

Please check out this website. Even if you only answer a few questions, you are doing something small to help end world hunger. It doesn’t get much more awesome than that!

I don't use that.

“Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something.” --Author Unknown

What am I doing today? Cleaning out my closet.

I love to periodically go through my stuff. Organizing the chaos of my life helps me to de-stress. But not only is it great for me and my mental sanity, it’s great for other people too.

My neighbors have 5 kids (two of the girls are about my size), so I always give them clothes and purses, etc. that I don’t use anymore. My old t-shirts are not doing anyone any good by sitting in my closet collecting dust. I might as well give it to someone who might actually use it. The best part is when I see them wandering the neighborhood in my old clothes... they’re like my little mini-mes.

I’ve also heard that hospitals appreciate when people bring in their old magazines or newspapers. So I’m planning to do that soon.

What other things do we throw away or have lying around that someone else could benefit from?

Experi-month #5: Little things, big differences

“If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.” – Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson

I realize that Michael Jackson is not the world’s greatest role model, but you can’t deny that Man in the Mirror is a phenomenal song with an applicable message. I have no idea what I want to do with my life professionally, but I know that I want to help people and make a difference. But I’m not doing that (per say) in my current job. Dilema.

So this month I have decided to try and make a difference in other ways. I have been thinking and thinking and thinking of ways to do this that don’t require a lot of time/money. Like most people, I work 8am to 5pm. By the time I commute home and eat dinner, it’s almost 7pm. That leaves me about 3 hours until I go to sleep. I usually fill this time with exercising, making my lunch for the following day and spending a little time with the family. It took me a while, but alas, I have developed a plan to maximize my time! And I’m so excited I can hardly stand it.

For 30 days, I will do something little that I think will make a big difference. I’m not going to save the world, but I might just make it a little bit happier place. It would make me super pumped if other people joined in too (hint, hint).

What am I doing today? Smiling at EVERYONE J

It’s cheesy, I know. But I did a little research... and apparently, smiling benefits all parties involved.

1.      Smiling changes your mood.

2.      Smiling is contagious (i.e. changes the mood of others).

3.      Smiling makes you more attractive to others.

4.      Smiling helps you stay positive.

5.      Smiling makes you more approachable.

I feel like these are all good things. If I’m in a good mood, maybe it will make someone else’s day better. Billy the Bus Driver didn’t call me Smiley for nothin’.

Results so far: two people asked me why I’m so happy today. People that I smiled at in the hallways at work smiled back. I made a new friend in the breakroom. The guy in the car next to me at a stoplight waved. And one person looked away... but she definitely saw the smile!

Go forth and smile! Let me know if you get any awesome reactions J

Someone ask me where Malti is.

I swear that I have been keeping up with my geography learning... but I have failed at writing about it. Sorry! It’s been another busy month.

I have a full-time job now, which requires me to stay mentally focused for 40 hours per week. I don’t think that minds are capable of that, personally. But I try. I’ve also been named as my sister’s maid of honor. So goodbye, Free Time. It was nice knowing you. I spend oodles of my spare moments shopping for wedding dresses, analyzing guest lists and oh, so much more. I’m happy to do it, of course. But whoever is lucky enough to marry me in the future should know that we will be eloping. Two reasons: I hate being the center of attention and weddings cost more than college educations. Unnecessary.

But I digress. I succeeded in learning geography. I’m still no expert, but I could definitely tell you where most countries are located. And if I can’t pinpoint it exactly, I can definitely give you the general area. But now, if someone brings up Bhutan or Burkina Faso, I will know that they are in Asia or Africa respectively. All I have to do is wait for someone to bring it up, and then I can astound them with my knowledge. It will be so great.

With all the excitement of geography in my life, I kind of forgot to come up with a topic for this month. Whoops. I was contemplating reading classic novels... but I feel as though that would be even less thrilling for you to read about than geography was. So suggestions would be tremendous.

I’m starting to feel worldly.

Yes, it’s true. Learning about geography makes me feel super worldly and knowledgeable about life. I feel less caught up in my own business and more in tune with the world around me. It’s great.

Yesterday I started focusing on the Caribbean/Central American. I’m grouping them together. Sporcle actually considers both of those areas as a part of North America. But how can something be called North and Central at the same time? I find this odd and confusing. So in my mind, North America consists of Canada, the U.S. and Mexico. But I can see how Central American countries are technically connected to Mexico and are on the same continent. So I guess it's ok.

But since I’m confident in my abilities to locate the U.S., Canada, and Mexico, I’m not including them in my time of study. I’m not so confident, however, in locating Grenada, for example. When I took the Sporcle quiz, I got a respectable 19 out of 23. This is my best score yet! Yay home continent!

Life oddity of the day:

While in college, I frequently rode the bus from my apartment to the main part of campus. I consider myself to be a fairly friendly person so I usually engaged in small talk with the bus driver, Billy. Billy was not the youngest of fellows; he was probably in his late 70s. He was also quite hard of hearing, so I often had to repeat myself or speak at a volume that felt like yelling.

Billy was quite a character. He had strong opinions about everything and did not seem to fully grasp social norms. He was also pretty forgetful, so he came up with cute little (semi-inappropriate) nicknames for the patrons of the bus. He started calling me Smiley. Most people would probably find this endearing… but I found it confusing. At first, I thought it was meant to be ironic. Like… maybe he was trying to imply that I never smile. But I don’t think that I smile more or less than the average person. It’s like calling someone of average height Shortie. Is it supposed to be accurate or ironic? But I digress.

One day, I boarded the bus and was chatting with Billy. He laughed at something I said (it was most likely extremely witty) and asked if I had a boyfriend. I hesitantly said no. He then took it upon himself to ask the next guy who boarded the bus if he would be willing to take me on a date. The guy smiled awkwardly and sat down without saying anything. I got off the bus as quickly as possible. I didn’t talk to Billy as much after that and even gave him hate glares from time to time. But he still called me Smiley. Don't you love it when old men try to set you up with random people? I know I do...

What’s the deal with all the Guinea?

Heaven help me, but I have begun the process of learning Africa’s geography. Here are the main reasons why this is a struggle:

1. There are tons of countries in Africa (54 to be precise), most of which have indistinct shapes.
2. The countries are often difficult to spell… like Mozambique and Mauritius.
3. There are quite of few countries that I have never heard of (let alone, know their geographical location)… like Seychelles, Eritrea and Burkina Faso.
4. There are some countries that have several versions of the same name. For example: Guinea, Guinea-Bissau and Equatorial Guinea. Can’t these governments come up with more original names? Oh, and then there’s Papua New Guinea, but that’s in Oceania [You have my permission to be impressed that I knew that without looking it up].

So basically, Africa is going to be a challenge. When I initially took the sporcle quiz for Africa, I believe my score was something close to 5 out of 54. I had heard of many of these countries, but was not able to name them on command and definitely could not locate them.

Story time:

It’s my sophomore year of college. I’m sitting in my apartment on a Friday night (because I’m cool) with two of my roommates. We were probably playing cards or acting a fool or watching Gilmore Girls. Those were the stand-by activities of choice. Suddenly, we heard a thud on our door. Not a knock. A
knock usually comes in threes… but this was just one loud noise. One of my lovely roommates went to investigate the situation by looking through the peep hole. She busted out laughing because all she was through the peep hole was a pair of legs lying on the ground. For some reason, after this discovery, she decided it would be an excellent idea to then open the door.

So she opens the door and a guy falls (literally) into our apartment. And… he is unconscious. It was evident from the smell that this unconsciousness was due to a large helping of alcohol. We had never seen this fellow before in our lives and we not sure whether to laugh or be concerned that there was an unconscious, average-height and weight, white male sprawled on the floor of our apartment. We all looked at each other to gauge what our reaction should be. Utter confusion was the verdict.

Thankfully, he only laid there for a little while before awakening. Not surprisingly, he was quite confused about how he arrived at his location. We were not able to help him much. He quickly stood up and the proceeded to introduce himself to each one of us individually, complete with a handshake.
His name was Ryan and I wish we had become best friends, but I never saw him again. I guess we just didn’t roll with the same crowd.

What can I say?

This week I’m studying Europe. I’ve already improved my score on Sporcle to a consistent 37/47. Progress. But I’m struggling with countries like San Marino, Kosovo and Bosnia & Herzegovina.

Shortly after I started Experi-month #4, I realized that this is not going to make for very exciting reading. I apologize. Listening to someone talk about their ability to memorize things is probably akin to watching paint dry.

Lucky for you, I have decided to supplement this month’s entries with awkward stories from my life that have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. For those of you that don’t know, my life attracts a high level of awkwardness. Some events from my life are funny, some are tragic, and others are just plain weird. I will try to stick to the funny ones, but I make no promises.

Many of you may have heard this first story already. I tell it frequently and it always gets a laugh at cocktail parties. I’m just kidding... no one invites me to cocktail parties. But if they did, I would totally tell this story and there would be a magical moment of joyous laughter. But anyway, if you’ve heard it, I’m sorry. I will try to write about a more obscure story next time.

So I was at the gym one day. Usually, I frequent the elliptical machine, but that day I decided to be bold and run on the treadmill. Let me preface the next part by saying that there was a torrential downpour happening outside. Silly me for thinking I would be safe indoors. I was running at full speed, which is probably a brisk walk for most normal people, but I have short legs. I was just trotting along, minding my own business when suddenly, the power goes out in the entire facility. Normally, this would not be a big deal. But I bet you didn’t know that when the power is cut from a treadmill, it does not slow down gradually like you might expect. Oh no, it just shuts off abruptly, sending the unsuspecting runner across the room.

The treadmill hurled me to my right and onto the floor. Wouldn’t it have been nice if I was on one of those treadmills that have side bars? Yeah. Too bad I wasn’t. So normally, this would not have been terribly embarrassing. But wait, there’s more.

Not only was I flung off a treadmill, going full speed... but so was the attractive gentleman next to me. Yes, that’s right. I collided with a hot guy. There is no happy ending to this story. I am not currently dating this fellow. I did not get his number. I did not even get any eye contact with him... it was pitch black in the room, after all. Needless to say, I never run on treadmills anymore when the weather is dicey and I try to avoid running next to hot guys. If this happened to anyone else, I would tell them that the odds are slim that that sequence of events would ever happen to them again. But people never say that to me, because they know that it probably would.

Experi-month #4: Geography

“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.” --Paul Rodriguez

Two things bother me about my public school education. The first is that I had to have a security escort in order to go to the bathroom. The second is that I have an extremely limited knowledge of geography.

Yes, I am somewhat ashamed to admit that other than being able to name all of the 50 states and locate them on a map, I am a geography idiot. If you name a country, I can probably tell you what continent it’s on… and maybe even its general location. But if you give me a map and ask me to point to that country, the odds are I have no clue. Take, for example, Switzerland. I know that it’s in Europe… most likely northern Europe (since I associate it with cold weather and lots of mountains). But I have no idea what countries it borders or anything specific like that.

So obviously, if that is the extent of my geographical knowledge of Switzerland, imagine my knowledge of the more obscure countries. Zip. Hence, I decided this would be an ideal topic for an Experi-month.

You may be wondering what prompted my interest in learning more about geography. Excellent inquiry. Answer: sprocle.com. I am on this website much more frequently than I should be. If you’ve never taken a sporcle quiz, you need to right now. But be warned that it is incredibly addicting. You can easily be on sporcle for hours without realizing it. Or is that just me?

So I was sporcling one day and I stumbled upon the geography section. I decided to try the Europe quiz. I was fairly confident in this one because I have traveled Europe more than any other continent (including North America). But I quickly realized there is a big difference between naming off European countries (which is what you have to do on the quiz) and actually knowing where they are located on a map. After I named the basics (France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Portugal, Austria, etc.), I began to struggle. Who knew that there were 47 European countries?! Sadly, I only named 26, which is barely half. The average score for that quiz is 42 countries. Ignorant American: party of one? Sad, but true.

So then to try and boost my self-esteem, I decided to try the North American geography quiz. Surely, I will do better than average on that one. It’s my home continent, after all. But no. Fail. Apparently there are 23 countries in North America! This is news to me. Those island countries in the Caribbean are super tricky. I still only managed to name 14, which is still more than half, but far below the average score. I am trying to make myself feel better by noting that people who take these quizzes could very well be topographers.

So while I do have an excellent knowledge of the states, my international geography skills are immensely lacking. This is unacceptable and must change. Thank you, Sporcle, for pointing out my insufficiencies in life. 

Verdict on Month 3

“He who has a why can endure any how.” --Friedrich Nietzsche

Thoughts on my endeavor with cars:

Will I stick with it?

There’s not much to stick with, honestly. If I ever get a flat tire, I will change it myself. I am woman, hear me roar.

Also of note, I have developed an excellent tactic to employ with the mechanic guys that change my oil and try to sell me $20,000 worth of car parts every time I darken their door. Ask questions. It sounds simple, but it works. Become one of those annoying people who constantly asks, “Why?” Eventually, one of two things will happen. They will run out of sales techniques and give up. Or they explain a legitimate reason why you need to have something done.

I employed this strategy last week when I got my oil changed. Not only did I learn what a gasket was, I learned why there should only be one in the engine of my car and my car (inexplicably) had two. After the reasoning was explained to me, I understood the situation. I also think the car guys were impressed that I was legitimately trying to understand what was happening with my car. They turned out to be super helpful and instead of selling me overpriced doodads, they explained everything to me and gave me a $50 discount (most likely because I utilized my womanly wiles). Success? I think so.

Am I glad I tried this?

Yes. While, it did not go as I originally planned, I still learned a lot. Instead of my eyes glazing over with confusion and not even attempting to understand, I now feel like I have a general knowledge of my automobile. This knowledge (small as it may be) is quite empowering because I do not need to rely on other people completely. I have a greater awareness for what’s going on under the hood and have developed new catch phrases like “If it leaks, it’s broken.” Obviously a fabulous end result.

Would I recommend trying it?

Definitely. And I recommend that you do a better job at it than I did. Then share your knowledge with me.

I’m not sure that I can declare this month a success… but I did learn a lot of great information that I can actually apply to my life. I lived to tell about it, despite SUV man’s best efforts.

I wish I didn’t have to title these.

I realize that this Experi-month has turned into 2 months. I’m sure you’re wondering why this is the case. Is it because I’m a slacker? No. Is it because I decided I didn’t like cars? No. Here are the main reasons:

1.      I got busy. I am the proud new owner of a permanent full-time job and a social life.

2.      I didn’t have a car for the majority of the month. Thank you, Mister SUV.

3.      I feel like I mastered the basics. After a certain point, you need to be a professional in order to feel safe with the end product. For example, I am not inclined to learn how to fix my brakes. Too important.

4.      I got uber excited/distracted when I decided what the next Experi-month will be. Stay tuned.

By the way, I still have no name for my new car. Thanks for nothing. Is it wrong that I kind of want to name her after a TV character from the Gilmore Girls? Lorelai seems like a solid name to me. And I'm not hearing any other suggestions...

Meet little no name

Meet my new car J Isn’t she pretty?! She is the little sister of Ruby (my previous car). She is only 1 year younger… in case you were wondering.

Now, I need your help. What should I name this little beauty? I’m completely stumped. I’ve had her for over a week now and I got nothin. I thought that getting to know her would help me come up with a great name… but the attempt was futile. Suggestions please! If it helps, she is a 2006 Hyundai Sonata. I have definitely determined that she is a she… so no masculine names please. Other than that, I’ll take any suggestions!

insurance like woe

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” -- Henry David Thoreau

Insurance companies work on their own time-table. This is something that I have discovered time and time again throughout this car debacle. For example, it took these fools a week following the accident to deem my car “totaled.” I’m not sure why it took them so long to determine this seemingly obvious fact when 3 attractive firefighters, 1 friendly policeman, and 1 concerned (yet, annoyed) father were all able to tell me this within hours.

It took the insurance company yet another week to determine the value of my demolished automobile. At which point I was informed that I was only allowed to have my rental car for 3 more days. Maybe in insurance land they are fully capable of taking off from work in the middle of the day to go buy a car. But in my world, I don’t get paid when I don’t work. Thus, I work whenever I can. Thus, I did not want to take off work to go buy a car. Thus, I needed at least one weekend. Thus, I had to call the insurance people and present my case for needing a mode of transportation to go out and buy said new car... on a weekend.

When I presented these seemingly reasonable facts to the insurance lady, she seemed unfazed. But surely, she didn’t want me to "call her supervisor." The mere mention of her supervisor was enough for her to switch from speaking to me like a cretin to the Dalai Lama. Needless to say, I got to keep the rental car for an extra week.

I have yet to deal with the MedPay side of the insurance, which is covering my medical expenses (i.e. visits to the chiropractor). I’m sure I will be afforded this immense pleasure at some point. Now I know all I have to do is mention the supervisor to be treated like a human being. Splendid.

The Tale of the Unattainable Rental Car

"Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance." -- Author Unknown

I apologize for my brief hiatus from blog-world. Working with insurance companies, car dealers and chiropractors has proven to be a full-time job (in addition to that other full-time job that I have). For the past two weeks, this has been a day in the life of Stephanie:

Drive my rental car to work.

Work until my lunch break.

Return phone calls from insurance company people named Melvin and Dodd.

Go back to work until 5pm.

Drive my rental car to the chiropractor.

Get aligned and cracked.

Drive my rental car home.

Eat dinner.

Talk to my dad about insurance people and learn how to haggle with them.

Go to sleep.

Repeat.

The main things worth writing about are what happen in the time between dinner and sleep. Here is one of several anecdotes, for your reading pleasure.

The day after I was almost flattened by an SUV, I realized that I had no car and would probably need one in order to successively drive places. Seems like a simple idea, yet I had overlooked it. My dad wisely noted that the other guy’s insurance should be expected to pay for a rental car. In an ideal world, that would also seem like a simple idea.

We quickly learned that due to my lack of being alive for 25 years, I could only rent from Enterprise (where you only need to be 21… 4 years makes a big difference? Slash do they know that it was the 70 year old man that was the incapable driver and not the 22 year old? Ageists.). So naturally, we called them… only to discover that every car in the city was currently in use. Really? I did not know that was even possible! How can a reasonably sized city like Charlotte be completely void of rental cars? Needless to say, I was not a happy camper. But my dad was even less happy than that because he had the pleasure of driving me to work on Monday morning prior to the crack of dawn. I made some smart comment about how he should wear a chauffeur hat, which did not amuse him. But not much does amuse him at 7:30am.

I was finally able to get a rental car four whole days after the incident. Good thing 37 friendly lawyers sent me some light reading material about how they would love to help me sue the other guy. So I didn’t get bored.

For most people, the Tale of the Unattainable Rental Car would have ended here. But not for me. First of all, I was given the ugliest car in the world. It was some modern looking version of a station wagon with excessive amounts of blind-spots and immediately branded Loser across my forehead. Also, it reeked of smoke. Most people could handle this if it was their only option. But my body revolts in the presence of smoke and what can only be called its “after remnants.” So it was giving me headaches and not helping my neck and back to heal appropriately.

My father, being the loving and protective parent that he is, politely phoned Enterprise to tell them about the entire saga. And when I say politely, I mean that I’m pretty sure he threatened to shoot up the place. The very next day, I got a call from Enterprise telling me that they had a 2010 Hyundai Sonata (the exact type of car that the SUV man totaled) waiting for me. As I pulled up in the smoky monstrosity, they were polishing the Sonata and smiling widely. They also noted that they had gone out and smelled it themselves to make sure it was to my liking.

Moral of the story: it pays to complain, especially to the Regional Vice President of Enterprise. Go big or go home.