Experi-month #3: Learnin' about those car things

Cars. This is the answer to the question, “What is the item that Stephanie uses habitually and knows the least about?”

It’s a sad, but true fact. I am a car idiot.

Here is what I know about cars:

1.      How to put gas in them when it says there is none.

Here is what I don’t know about cars:

1.      Everything else.

Thus, I feel that it would benefit me greatly to know the basics. For example, it might one day be handy to know how to change a tire or jump my car without calling my dad for help.

Every time I go to get my oil changed, the skeezy mechanic guys try to convince me that my car will implode and explode simultaneously on my way home… unless I pay them to fix a laundry list of things that sound really important. They can smell my car ignorance and pounce on the opportunity to take advantage of my wallet, using their car jargon and ability to make me feel like I’m driving a ticking bomb. So I’m always like, “Hey man, I have no idea what a flux capacitator is. Make a note of it on my bill and I will go home with my tail between my legs and ask my car-knowledgeable father.” It usually ends up that they were trying to take me for a ride (no pun intended). FYI… there is no such thing as a flux capacitator.

Note: I have taken the liberty of conducting a poll (obviously done through convenience sampling, in case you were curious). This above scenario only happens to women… mostly young women. Moreover, I consider myself to be a feminist. Not in the traditional bra-burning-protesting-angry-muscular kind of way… but in the don’t-assume-I’m-less-intelligent-and-capable-because-I-have-ovaries kind of way. So nothing would give me more pleasure than telling those chauvinistic skeezers exactly why they are full of crap. So I can be like, “Hey man, I KNOW that blinker fluid is about as real as Chubaka.” That would bring me joy.

I don’t necessarily want to know how to fix my car… just be able to speak intelligently about it. I’m hoping this will be a worth-while endeavor. There are so many cute car clichés I could conclude this post with like “Ready, set, go” or “This could be one heck of a ride.” But for your benefit, I will try to hold back at least 80% of my trite remarks. There are just so many to choose from.